Falling apart . . .

I feel like I've spent all these years trying to build my home on sand, and now it seems it's all collapsing before my eyes every day. Not only is everything starting to seem so random and meaningless, but I have no clear idea of what to do to restore things to any meaningful state...

It's almost like growing old – after living in your house for many decades, you wake up one morning to find that it has begun crumbling around you, and despite your best efforts, you simply lack the physical and emotional stamina to do anything about it...

Personally, I believe that to fix things I need to come up with a more intriguing, "whole" world and more relatable characters, but all these things seem like it would take months to build even if you know what you're doing – while I'm not even sure what direction I should go in...

So I'm just sitting and waiting for this site to go all the way from 1000s to 100s and down to mere 10 views. And I have a strong feeling that by 2025, I will have 0 comments on anything, no matter what "masterpieces" I think I upload. And then I realize that the only true supports for this home throughout these years were your kind words!..

I'm really sorry if these messages of despair have become tiresome to many long-term visitors... Let's hope my prayers will be heard this time and I'll find the inspiration to breathe life back into my world and tighten up my characters, and finally I can start working on a real project and not just random ideas that come across my mind.

What do you think? 😄
Sasha M
Sorry to hear that, Yuni. Well... that's why there are publishers, distributors, and advertisers. Bringing an author's work to potential readers and viewers also requires a lot of effort, time, and special skills.
It's a shame that I haven't come up with a better idea yet on how to solve the problem.
Sasha M

P.S. Yes, I always wanted to know more about Yunia, too. I really hoped that this story was the beginning of some kind of odyssey. ^^
yuni.us/the-temple-of-cock
Shifty
Yes the meaning is exactly as you say. "some things remain for centuries and some disappear like dreams..."
Most "philosophical views" in general not any specific ones. But it is not important dont worry about it :)
My friend Orlando Agudelo-Botero is an artist of some prominence in the past forty years, and over tea one morning we were discussing what he had planned for his time in the studio, which was to begin that day and continue for a couple of days, at least. When I asked if he had new ideas already mapped out in his brain he said this: 'I go into the studio with a dozen great ideas and then I get the hell out of my own way.' This is the man who believes he is merely an instrument for the creativity that exists in the universe. Yes, he is a very humble man. My partner and I stopped working with our story online because we could see there was a different type of visitor after ten years, one who was more demanding and not the kind of person you would invite to your table to share a meal. The atmosphere has changed and I agree with the others who nixed the idea of FB, DA, etc., because it is their arena and they will eventually step on your toes, or worse. My daily motivation is my second book, whose characters keep everything moving, by highjacking my brain, 24/7. During my time of tapping at my keyboard, I am often reminded of your boys; Martin, Sasha, Amtril, Andrzej, Yasha...well, you get the idea, and I often use them as references, when describing facial expressions, and bodies. But, I am digressing.

First, all things in life are cyclical, the value of money, artwork, housing, food, etc., are in a constant state of change. This is how it is with your craft, as well. If you think about it, some of your fans may have grown up and their passions changed, whereas others may have made that eternal change and stepped off this globe of crazies. There is also the thing which turned my partner and I off to sharing our work online, which is the accelerated rate of expectation that many have, which is why many anime/3D artists have opted for mediocrity, to satisfy the beast that is their fanbase, with new work daily. If I could leave you with one thing to mull over in your mind it would be that you shouldn't give 'website traffic' any importance, for folks will still come to view great work and great writing. I spent forty years in advertising and marketing, and without taking a small 'footprint' on several of the social sites, there isn't much else you can do. DA is not a site conducive to this, nor is FB. Rule34.xxx has a smattering of your work posted by others, and Rule34.paheal is slowly sinking into the quagmire, so I don't see 34.paheal as viable for you. The plus about Rule34.xxx is they have an option for the poster to list the 'source' of the image/video, and many do so, conscientiously.

Second, the internet now has billions of images/videos and keeping anyone's attention in this environment is much like herding cats. So, kick your muse in his/her fetching derriere and, if all else fails go for a walk, go swimming, have a glass of very good wine, or a single malt scotch, and what you seek will make its presence known to you - in its own time. After all, you didn't dream up all of those wonderful stories, extraordinary characters and very unique backstories overnight, did you?
It's a great saying if you think of it: "I go into the studio with a dozen great ideas and then I get the hell out of my own way." Indeed I often feel like I'm putting a lot of unnecessary things in my own way. Sometimes I go crazy about needing to write narratives for every single artwork, but then it gets crazier when I suddenly feel the need to connect all the narratives into something bigger. It may feel kind of bad, maybe forced, and yet there's the feeling that my life is wasted if I don't manage to finally connect all the pieces of the puzzle...

There's this simple solution to just drop all that, get everything out of my way and just be at ease. Sometimes I do that and post pictures that don't even have a title, but then it feels empty - no thoughts for comments... And I certainly don't want to leave my visitors speechless... Comments are all I have - I'm not paid for any of this, I'm not a famous artist with a gallery in a big city, I don't have any cool friends to drink with. All I have de facto is the internet comments and also writing my own stories as a form of communication. It's hard to get these things out of the way and simply enjoy being connected with the universe, while making completely random art...

It's very true that there was one internet in the late 1990s with dialup, fanfics and piracy, a completely different internet in the late 2000s with YouTube and Facebook, then a whole different internet in the late 2010s with Twitter, Instagram, Tiktok, all the ranking algorithms everywhere, the death of standalone websites and everybody moving to social platforms that tell us what to do and what not to do... Now again something different with all the social platforms being so terrible that people don't know where to go anymore. No way back, no future either.

By the end of 2020s, we will all have our own isolated spaces, where we only talk with AI bots because they're so friendly and wise, bots will make our work for us and then other bots will evaluate "our" work, giving us the sense of validation - they will even rate us from 1 to 10. Talking with real humans would be another boomer thing, something wild and prehistorical - who needs those hostile idiots anyway? All they can do is offend you in one way or another. People will gather to have a beer once a year and talk about the best new AI, bots, or maybe even dolls, in a few years... So my theory is, people are losing the gift of socialization and it's getting replaced with technology - even in a big crowd everyone is only friends with their own phone.

Just like you stopped your online activity, I was also thinking about doing that many times - luckily, despite the internet feels so different now, there are still many factors that save me from that "final decision". Including this comment where you mention so many names of my characters and say they have wonderful stories... Thank you!!

About Rule34.xxx, I'm glad at least some site would still host some of my works after I'm gone, sadly in terms of discovery my art is a drop in the ocean and I doubt I have many visitors who come from imageboards.

I also respect your opinion about not giving website traffic any importance, it's always been my dream to achieve exactly that state of things where I simply have art that is good enough for people to want to see it in the first place... But at the current state of things, I realize I have a mess of over 2000 jigsaw pieces scattered over the floor and only a vague idea of how to put it all together... And I'm sure it's confusing as hell for everyone... If I could enter the state of being too carried away by the process of assembling the puzzle, I think it would be much easier to ignore the traffic and focus on the art - at the same time automatically making it more interesting... So I'm definitely looking forward to developing my recent ideas some more...
Sasha M
Dear Yuni, this is your world and your art! Never draw or write anything you don't want!

Write stories to your images only when you yourself feel the need to write a story.
Or never write at all, if you don't like it.

Don't draw sex images if you feel that you are doing it only because sex images have more views and comments.
Or create only the most kinky contortionist sex art, without wasting time and effort on creating sexless "fillers" just because you are embarrassed by the condemnation of all sorts of prudes.

Develop the world of Yunia, invent its laws and customs, populate it with gods, people and mythical monsters... But only if you yourself are interested in building this new world.
Or leave Yunia as it is and each time create a completely new image, not connected with others by theme, style or characters.

This is your life and your art. You should enjoy what you create. This is the only rule.

You are a talented artist. So if you do what you really like to do, there will always be enough people who will sincerely love your art work.

Sasha M

PS The size of the audience is not directly related to the quality of the work. The world is full of stories about how a not very well-known writer or musician created a great work and got almost zero audience. Then this work was stolen by a famous musician or writer, and so this work became known and popular all over the world.

The quality of the work, the development of characters, the creation of your own interesting world. All of the above in itself will not help to increase the audience. This problem is usually solved by a completely different kind of "art": the art of promoting.

PPS By the way, speaking about the list of characters that another commentator provided. It seems to me, if my memory serves me right, that there are only two Sashas on the site: one of them is a minor character created by some other artist, not Yuni, and the second Sasha is me. But if Yuni suddenly needs to own a character named Sasha, then I am always ready for action. I was flexible enough and looked good when I was young. :D
(Sorry ^^)
I'm definitely interested to build something that feels like home to my characters, it's just difficult to think of the details. Fixing everything in a single setting would be quite inflexible... While pretending that the characters just make movies or seeing dreams where they take on different roles - that doesn't give the feeling of something solid, and generally feels more and more confusing over time...
Sasha M
I shared all the ideas I had and right now I don't see what else I can come up with. So I'm here because I read that you need a kind word and pats on the back, so I'm here to tell you that I love you and I want to give you a big warm hug and hold your head to my chest. Please forgive my familiarity and don't take my words the wrong way. It just makes me so sad to see you unhappy.

I know I'm taking a huge risk by saying this... but yes, you are the most desperate attention whore I've ever seen, but you are also the hardest working and most honest whore ever. You give so much.. You work like crazy to get the attention and praise you so desperately need, so it breaks my heart to see that your efforts don't bring you enough attention and pats on the back to satisfy you and make you happy. Unfortunately, I can only give you my own attention. But if you need it, I will do my best to give you as much as I can. And best of all, I won't have to resort to empty flattery, because I have truly loved your art, your attitude and your sense of humor for many years.
KJ
By the way, you might consider the pieces of your jigsaw puzzle are not meant to be connected, but merely breadcrumbs to mark your path...
¯\_(ツ)_/¯