Wart's Duties

Of course I'm not a jester, but I know quite a few fancy tricks! My foster father Sir Hector kept saying that anybody in the world could just carry a sword, but to be a real squire one has to be as good at entertaining his knight as the knight himself is good at fighting. So he kept training me to be the best squire for his own son, Sir Kay.

One day when I was young we went to a market and suddenly Sir Hector pulled my hand and pointed: look there, Wart! I looked and there was a jester, a boy a bit older than myself who did incredible things with his body! I stood there and my eyes went like thiiis and Sir Hector was like, now that's what a good squire should be able to do! And before I even opened my mouth, it was decided.

When we went back home, the first lesson perfectly proved that I'm not made of rubber, although it really surprised me that Sir Hector did manage to do some odd things to my body anyway, though I could barely walk straight afterwards. In the next months I practiced a lot and learned to do such things that would have probably killed me some months before! I mean like sitting on my own head or spreading my legs completely in the opposite directions, or kicking the air above my head, not only in front but from behind too!

Sir Hector would often help me with stretching, otherwise I could always practice in the kitchen. He was pleased with me but kept saying I should work harder: tricks grow old really quick, boy, and you don't wanna bore yer knight, do you? Not at all, sir! Every day I carefully polished my skills at entertaining my foster brother whenever he wanted me. If one day Sir Kay becomes a legend, I wanted to be The perfect squire by his side.