💡 Total Refold

Yasha was on his way back from school, he was supposed to meet his friend Andrzej and stretch together, when completely out of the blue he was blinded by a couple of strong flashlights.

"Dudes, look! It's one of the escapees!" He heard a synthesized voice. "Don't let him get away!'

Just a moment before he could think of turning himself into a ball to roll away, he was already captured! The facility where he was taken didn't have any corporate symbols and was operated entirely by robots. The only living organisms were clones of himself!

Yasha spent there a few hours... The clones didn't pay any special attention to him as he looked exactly like any of them after he was forced to wear the same outfit. The only difference, they were all so disgustingly sweet that Yasha felt like brushing his teeth after talking with any of them. It seemed all they did in life was talking sweet nonsense and hugging all the time!

"You're so cute!"
"No, you!"
"I wish I had a nose as cute as yours!"
"You already do!"
"Oh! You're right! Haha!" (hugs)

They were seemingly unrestricted and walked around freely but Yasha wasn't fooled by the size of the birdcage, the facility was huge but not unlimited, and nobody was allowed to cross the only exit, sealed by a secure door.

Seems there was everything for the clones to eat, drink, sleep and even some privacy for whenever they felt overly huggly. Sometimes they were purchased and taken away... This facility was surely ILLEGAL, Yasha realized! His kidnapping was already, without a doubt, unlawful, but that could have happened by a mistake. Now there was no doubt this whole business was fishy!

And then he got seriously worried because of what he saw next. One of the clones was showing a group of others how high he could raise his leg, he almost did a vertical split and it was making him incredibly happy, while the others looked at him with eyes wide open.

"Defective clone detected," Yasha heard the familiar synthesized voice, "Move him to Section B, bros."

The robots came to take the flexible clone away. None of the clones showed any signs of resistance or even much interest in this sudden transfer. Yasha had no idea what they did to that more flexible clone but didn't they tag him as "defective" because of his stretchy leg? It was clear as the day that flexibility was forbidden in this place.

But before he could dive into the ocean of alarming guesswork, Yasha received another overdose of hugs and sweet talk.

Yasha never thought he'd get so tired of hugging "himself". He always imagined himself as a narcissist, he loved posing for sculptors and he even purchased some of his own sculptures when they were done. He liked to fondle those marble copies of himself, study their details that only a good sculptor was able to define really well. Even talking to them when he was bored. But when he saw these more realistic clones, it was just... bleh.

Of course, he did donate his DNA to a corporation, since he was a contortionist celebrity and his DNA information was in high demand, but he never personally met any of his clones before. And now he knew why! Apparently, his data was stolen and illegally traded to third parties! Now all his clones were doomed to become slaves, locked in various spooky houses around the world, never to see freedom!

This sudden realization was too much. He had to report this as soon as possible and he already spotted the ventilation system that he could squeeze through to escape.

He looked around... and suddenly took pity on the poor clones. Maybe he could help at least one of them really quickly? Or even teach him something that he could spread to others to help everyone escape?

He approached a clone sitting there on a bench in a relatively solitary zone. The clone immediately tried to hug and sweet talk him but Yasha didn't give that guy a chance.

"Sit down and watch this!" Yasha warned, then bent backwards and did a handstand on the bench, trying to be quick before any guards see him. The cloneboy dropped his jaw when he saw Yasha bending his body so much that his chest fully opened, revealing a true treasure of human anatomy. A deep and masterfully done Backfold!

After letting the clone-boy memorize the position, Yasha got back on feet through an elegant torso twist that made the clone gasp even louder than the first time.

"Wow, what you just did... I've never seen anything like that in my whole life! But... why does it feel so familiar?"
"Yeah, because you're a clone of me, so it's imprinted in your spine at birth to be a contortionist!"
"A clone of... you?"
"Yeah, so what's your name? Some number, I guess?"
"Y- Yeah! Of course! I'm 73... 3 for short. And my full name is Yasha#3173. And what's your number?"
"I'm just Yasha! Well, not just Yasha. Yasha Lebedev. They took my DNA to make all those Yashas."
"Whoa! Who would have known? You're Yasha-Zero!"
"No, it's just Yasha!"
"But... that's confusing! There's a lot of Yashas, you need the number to refer a specific one..."
"But I don't like being called a zero! It sounds like any of you clones are greater than me, the original!"
"Well, you need a greater number, huh? Hmm, well, Zero could be your short name but your full name could be Billion."
"Make it Quadrillion."
"Okay, so... How are you, Quadrillion? Zero for short."

The original Yasha rolled his eyes. "Now, a quick memory check. Have you already forgotten what I just showed you?"
"No no, in fact I can't take it out of my head! My spine is itching so hard, I really want to try doing that sometime!"
"You MUST! And NOW! It's your only ticket to freedom, 3173."
"Do you think I can really do that, Quadrillion?"
"I'm so glad Andrzej doesn't hear this, he would start calling me a Quadrillion until we both get sick of it!"
"An-jay? What's that?"
"Nevermind. Listen! You theoretically should be able to do everything I can do, you just have to start your training from scratch but since you're me, and I am this flexible, so you're pretty much guaranteed to succeed! Not at first, you have to train your spine for quite a while... Look, the routine is simple. Bend as much as you can, hold it as long as you can. Relax but only a little bit, don't fully straighten your spine yet, instead bend it even further and hold even longer. Repeat as many times as possible, take a longer break with a straight spine, then go back to bending as soon as possible. Do it many times a day for many days until one day you can press your butt to your shoulders. That much flexibility should be enough to crawl through the ventilation system up there without an injury."

"Whoa, thanks for all that information, Quadrillion, but I'm afraid I don't have that much time... You see, I was sitting in this box because I'm next on the queue. My new owner will pick me up any second now!"
"What! Then quick, let's escape right away! You might pull a muscle or two and twist a few bones, but nothing that the modern medicine couldn't fix! Quick!"
"No no nooo, what do you mean, escape from what!? I was waiting for my turn for sooo long! I'm super excited to meet my owner, I was just re-reading her profile, she seems like a super nice and wealthy person."

Yasha#3173 even blushed as he smiled.

"What!" Yasha grabbed the clone's shoulders and shook them. "You realize you'll be a slave?"
"Well, we're all Slavs of course. Is there any problem?"
"A slave, not a Slav! A slave is a person who can't leave the house without a collar and a leash, they're only given food and they're never paid. Their owner can do whatever they want with them, use them to cheer themselves up on one day, then beat them up on another day."
"Oh, I thought you just described a pet dog! Are you from Mars or something? It's nothing like that in the world I know! It's more like adoption and the terms are really great! I showed my owner's profile to my friends and they all envied me a lot! I can't wait to meet Marina!"
"Marina? Now that's weird, my trainer's name is also Marina."
"How sweet! See now, how confusing it is without numbers?"

The cloneboy giggled but suddenly turned his head to the nice inviting melody that started playing.

"Oh! Okay now, I must run! See you..."
"See you... or not..." Yasha waved but the clone was already running off and not even looking at him. In a second he happily vanished behind a secure door.

"Is everyone here so brainwashed... I think I'm wasting my time in this place. I bet they were brainwashed by real experts who made all this look like a great deal! So even if you freed those boys, they would struggle hard to get back here as soon as they can!"

Yasha shrugged his flexible shoulders, they clicked and dislocated. He contorted his body into a ball and quickly rolled up the wall and through the ventilation hole. After checking the surroundings, he used his K.G.B.* skills to make himself move without being noticed.

_{(*) Kremlin's Gymnast Boys}

After he found the nearest teleport, he pressed the biggest button on the panel and twisted his spine into a ramhorn. That immediately took him back home, to his and Andrzej's joint appartment.

"Joint appartments are good for your joints," Yasha remembered an old joke from their rental agency, but Andrzej was too angry to smile. He looked tired. He was probably stretching just now, he had no problem training solo as he could knot himself up in a lot of ways ranging from good to very good to om nom nom oh so good... all by himself!

"What took you so damn long? It's evening! Was he better than me?"
"What? Who? Just got kidnapped on the way from school, but nothing serious. There's an illegal clone factory, they took me for one of their clones. I think they obtained my DNA on the dark market! That place is full of Yashas!"
"Wow, seriously? That's pretty serious, though! We should report it as soon as possible!"
"Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Maybe tomorrow if I don't forget."
"Maybe set a reminder."
"Later! Let's stretch first! I only did a single backfold this whole time!"
"Yeah, right. Where was I... ah yes, I was trying to do a 360 degree twist all by myself to add to the poses I can do all by myself... But I was thinking we could both do 360 degree twists and hold them by hugging..."
"Ugh, hugging... ugh... I just had an overdose of that at the factory. Ah, alright! Just don't tell me anything sweet!"
"Okay, I'll tell you something bitter... or something hot... unless you prefer something salty?"
"Oh yes, that's so sweet of you! Wait, whut? Sweet! Ugh!! Let's just shut up and stretch, and you just do whatever you wanna do... I don't want you to be just a copy of yourself, looking the same but refined to someone else's liking. I want you to be yourself, your true self!"
"What? You sound crazy all of a sudden! Did they mess with your head?"
"Uh... yeah, a little. What I really need right now is a good old twist and a bend! The more, the sooner I forget that nightmare!"
"I thought you wanted to set a reminder so you don't forget?"
"Ah yes... Okay, let's add one for tomorrow. No wait, tomorrow is my photoset, teaseday is also busy, on wanksday I got a performance... Okay, I set it on next moanday. Let's stretch already! I swear we need to learn to stretch time, there's never enough time to stretch!!"